It is said humans are social animals, but even then we find ourselves increasingly experiencing the exact opposite in our day to day lives. We find people becoming limited in the perspective and adopting life practices that are anti-social. There is a need for us to reset ourselves and go back to the basics of forming the societies. While it is a vast topic to discuss, we can start by focussing on simple steps that you can take to be social again. We recently covered this topic in our group meeting on February 4, 2023.
Before we get into discussing the steps that you need to take, I would like draw your attention to another blog, Why our societies are disintegrating and what should we do, that discusses this topic in a different light from a larger perspective. This blog will help you provide the context that you need to build foundation of your renewed actions.
During this blog, we will only cover aspects we discussed in the group meeting. We looked at being social from a completely different perspective. We focussed on what as opposed to how. In other words, we focussed on providing direction as opposed to discussing how to make walk the path.
Keeping that in mind, we come back to the question, How to be social? Following is response.
Steps to being social
Focus on what you can give - When forming any relationship, it is important that you get into it from a mindset of giving. A relationship formed on giving tend to be successful. Unfortunately, we live in society where someone in need is not helped. If you are ready to become a giver, I can assure you will find many naturally getting attracted to you.
Keep your prejudices in check - Our minds are formed by categorization, definitions, and prejudices in the name on understanding. This so called understanding comes in the way of we treating everyone on their merit. Instead, we put labels on them. When you keep your prejudices in check and have an open mind, you will start to see there is more to everyone than what appears at the surface. And, when you see more, it becomes easier to form stronger and lasting relationships.
Be open to change your perspectives - While it is important to not have prejudices, it is also important to not judge people on their actions. Remember, beauty lies in beholder's eyes. Anything or anyone is as good or as bad as you see it or them to be respectively. We have learnt life habits that are not easy to change. Hence, it is not easy to see when we let our limited or restricted perspective color our opinion. On the contrary, our mind justifies our perspectives even if it wrong. Remember, merely having a reasoning is not sufficient as behind every bad deed there is a reasoning.
Be generous in your thinking and attitude - After knowing that prejudices and narrow perspectives can come in the way of forming social connections, what it points to it being generous in thinking. Take it a notch further by being generous in your attitude and you will see that it not only paves the way for deeper stronger connection but also receiving back the kindness from the universe.
Accept limitation and have patience - Lastly, make no mistake by having unrealistic expectations, i.e., expecting everyone to be prefect. People are not perfect; in fact, everyone is far from it. Know that people my have limitation and we need to find a way to work around those limitations. A bit of patience works wonder in this journey as increased patience can result in exponential outcomes.
Remember, we all need society in some way or another (either in material planes or astral). We all are connected and transact through energy. At times, all one needs is to shed the boundaries of inhibition, concerns, apprehensions, and, most importantly, fear to form deeper connection and to find someone who can truly appreciate you. I have seen enough evidences to say that staying positive helps and perseverance pays off sooner or later. So, apply the afore-mentioned five approaches in your life and you will see that the society around you starts to change.
After we have discussed the approaches, we need to have a closer look into why being social to begin with? Together with how, the why gives you realistic understanding/expectations of being social.
Why be social at all?
To make a difference in the society - If you must be social, it should be to make a difference in the society and to bring larger changes. How can you make that change? Simple, go though the change yourself first, and then influence people around you. The more people become caring, kind, giving and selfless, the more society will start to change. If you do not want to make a difference, it means you are looking to 'get; something instead of 'giving.'
To get rid of loneliness and depression - If you are someone who craves people and bonding, being social is the wonderful way. Many people are getting isolated due to short-sighted selfish perspective and teachings from instant success experts. Please also notice the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be cured by people or someone's company, being lonely, on the other hand, requires true, deeper connection that values and appreciates your existence.Quite simply, being lonely can only be cured by reciprocation not just be presence.
To find people who can motivate you - The reason we feel lonely and depressed is because there is a lack of self-worth and self-awareness. When we we lack this within us, we try to seek this from others. If you are not able to find motivation within you, no matter who and where you are, being social and making connection can help you get this motivation. It is funny though that, when you do not have anyone, any motivation becomes critical but over a period of time when you have people around you and they constantly motivate you, you look for quality of motivation. You no longer are swayed by simple presence of motivation, you seek real emotion as opposed to empty words. Isn't this the problem celebrities and rich and affluent face? Nevertheless, being social can be immensely motivating.
To meet people who can make you prosper (Materially and/or spiritually) - At times, our longing is not just have someone around us, but to help us grow. There are numerous examples of how being social can make one prosper in the material and spiritual paths. When we lack access the wisdom within us, people around us come handy and they hold our hands to not only show us the path but walk with us.
To find a companion - To me, the highest and most natural state of relationship is having a companion. Whether we talk in terms of material life or spiritual realm, having a companion is not only desirable but almost mandatory to make progress. The companion can be anyone, a friend, a spouse, a guru, a kid, someone unknown, or someone from a different realm. Due to this important reason and to help people who are struggling, I have started a new meetup group that helps one find a Spiritual Companion.
Having said that, please know that not everyone thinks in the same way, not everyone needs or desires social connections; some are happily basking in solitude. There is no hat that can fit all heads. Being social is only for people who are not able to tab the unlimited potential that each ones of us has. If you do not enjoy human connect and have no desire or need for it, it is okay to be how you are if you are able to progress and fulfill your purpose of life.
Before I wrap up this blog post, I must ask you to be cautious in making social connections as you need to be judicious in your quest. Like no hat fits all heads, not everyone may be of your wavelength. You for sure will encounter people who may derail you or change your energy. I am not saying they are wrong or bad, they are simply of different mental outlook. The greater the difference, the greater it is to bring synergies. While it is true that we can make every relationship work, but are you ready to pay the price for that? At times, the price is too high, and at times the price makes us realize that we didn't really need something; it was a nice to have, not must have. Also, do not use it for an excuse to no do the diligent work just because you are lazy or swayed by your prejudices. Have an open approach and decide based on how someone is with you. So be wise in your decision before making a decision.
Now that we have come to the end of this post, please understand that this topic requires much larger discussion. The blog is only meant to be a quick read to act as a stimuli for you to observe, introspect, and contemplate and do the inner-engineering that is key to everyone's growth.
With the hopes that you will be able to make progress, I wish you all the best in your journey! 🙏